Graduation 2013

I have now ticked number 11 off my 25 before 25 list :) We graduated :) Huzzah! I now have ‘BA, MSc’ following my name and my Love has ‘BSc, MSc, PhD’! It was so nice to see the family again.  I went to most of my favourite local eateries, and we got to drink wine from our favourite kiwi vineyard :) so it was an awesome trip home.

I am now holidaying at Stanford, my Love doesn’t get as much time off as I do, but he will take Christmas day off to spend with me :) I am strangely feeling more at home here than I do in Berlin, and I am not really looking forward to leaving, but I guess my Ph.D. won’t finish itself.

Autumn 2013

AUTUMN IS HERE!! And they have actual orange pumpkins in this hemisphere!!!! I just have to carve a jack-o-lantern before Halloween :) maybe this weekend!

A mild allergy to bananas and Molecular Biology

So my whole life I told all of the adults at my school camps that I was allergic to bananas because I could not stand the taste - they made me want to puke, just the smell of them was enough *wrinklesupnose* but I also spent a lot of time being jealous that people got to peel them - it just looked like SO much fun! (don’t even ask, I was a weird child)
Recently having finally admitted what an awesome snack bananas are I decided to try and get over my dislike, so I bought 4 and vowed to get through them all! I ate the first one and it was awful, bleugh, and weirdly afterward I had really itchy ear canals - most annoying itch ever! The next night I had another banana, this one wasn’t so bad, but it still wasn’t good, that night I also had itchy ear canals and my mouth felt funny. The third night I ate another one and it was okay - followed again by itchy ear canals and itchy entire inside of my mouth. This was actually the first night I made the connection that the itchy ears/face might be being caused by the banana-eating! Turns out I have a mild allergy after all! - most boring story ever, but I do love suddenly being surprised by new information about myself.

I have also come to realise that my assumption that I would be able to pick up PhD Level Molecular Biology on the fly was poorly thought through, this is certainly challenging! And now I’m at the 5-6 months stage where I don’t have the “new-girl” excuse anymore - time to buckle down/nut up and just do it! It is terrifying to realise that at the end of this month I will be at the 6 month mark - one sixth of the way to the estimated finish line (which they STRONGLY encourage you to make) - I sincerely hope my rate of productivity increases exponentially rather than linearly .. otherwise it will be a short thesis!

YAWN such tired

September 2013

Well!! September was a rough one, so I just need to give a quick nod to the things that got me through! My life motto in hard times is “It could always be worse” and if you can't think of a way in which it could be worse then you have a pretty lame imagination, so you should probably work on that.

Music has always been a bit of a life vest for me and this past month was no exception, but it took me a wee while to find the right music to get me through it, because, you know when you feel like you're fighting a battle on your own - if you listen to happy upbeat music sometimes you can feel like it’s mocking you, but if you listen to sad music it doesn't cheer you up any! So When Cee Lo Green started playing, though he does have some happy songs he also has some that actually aren't all that cheery but still have a really upbeat melody and rhythm which don't particularly match each other, so you get the happy upbeat mood of the music without the “My life is great - sucks to be you” lyrics, which was the perfect combination for me! I also listened to a bunch of Kanye West and Kate Nash (also caught her live this month for the first time which was a dream come true! But more on that later!)

September wasn't really that bad but it was so so so stressful that I was overtired and emotional the whole time and just felt like I wasn't getting a break! But then I did get a break :) and I have officially passed my 6-month trial period for my PhD! So they are going to keep me on! I had an unexpected move, as the woman who was subletting to me decided she didn't want to keep renting her flat so gave me 4 weeks notice to find somewhere else to live! Which she was well within her rights to do, but I still felt like it was a dick move, I'm sure I would feel differently if our roles were switched (I’m trying really hard to be understanding here!).

Otherwise I am feeling very far away from home and wishing I could be in NZ for the arrival of my first ever niece/nephew! I’m terrified of small humans but holy crapsticks am I excited about this one!!!!!!! I just have to work really hard to not buy him/her a baby lab coat and plush soft toy neuron, I’m just so excited to meet him/her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


My Love is now in America, it was so lovely to have him here for August, and the time difference with America and our hectic schedules make talking every day a challenge! But unexpectedly the main issue has been the crappy internet connection in Palo Alto! Did not see that coming!

I have started running again after all the moving and PhD stress calmed down, and though my running distance is a bit pitiful, I am just aiming to get out as much as I can and not beat myself up over distances, even once around the block is better than nothing - and once I'm in the gear and on the pavement I always feel like running further than I thought I would :) so that’s good!

Also I've picked up meditating, just doing it by myself for now, as one of my biggest issues is actually my rumination/inner voice/impostor syndrome/self doubt and so just being able to quieten my mind is a skill that I think is worth cultivating! And to be honest some days I last 2 minutes of just focusing on my breathing before my brain gets bored and I can't help but let my mind wander, so on those days I go by the ‘as long as it is a positive thought - it’s okay!’ rule, which has been interesting in itself!

Breaking Bad finished, and it was amazing, it is one of the most beautifully written/directed/produced/cast piece of work I have ever seen. I feel like they should make some sort of education ‘Chemistry with Heisenberg’ either series or audio text book or something. But I think that is just me wishing it wasn't over - having said that I think it ended at the right time and in the right way - so I also wouldn't change it to have it drag on!

I love Kate Nash, I saw her live :) that was just one of those things that when I was at the very bottom of New Zealand I honestly didn't think I would ever be able to do, so it was just such a blessing, I felt like I was floating home afterwards, Berlin seems to be the city where my dreams are becoming reality :)

Alright - enough rambling, goals for the next wee while are to get out and meet some people, I have made 3 friends since I moved to Berlin and my hermit lifestyle isn't helping so … we will see how that goes!

Medieval Festival at the Zitadelle

I went to a medieval festival! The small humans dressed up as knights and princesses were the best thing about it, I would have LOVED to go to one of these as a kid! The furry creatures were pretty cute too, I wanted to take them home!

Racoon!!!!

I loved this guy!

Ye Olde Taverne

Tiny creatures!!!

Soup from a cauldron!

I don't know what this statue is supposed to be, it puzzled me.

Cassette tapes from the Middle Ages

A brave young knight

I would have been so into this shit when I was a kid!

DINOSQUARES!!!

I saw my first ever dinosaur skeleton!! The Natural History Museum is totally aimed at kids but holy crap I loved it!

Little Lucy

You will find Little Lucy and her cat all over the streets of Berlin, here is a bit of backstory and a link to some more pics:

“Little Lucy, his major character is inspired by an TV-series called: “Little Lucy – Fear of the Streets” from what was Czechoslovakia , which was running on TV in the 70s.  El Bocho found the Little Lucy character in this series too boring so he decided to make her a little more interesting. As a friend of dark humor El Bocho has given her a new hobby: killing her cat. You can find her cat in a washing machine, you can find the cat being cooked as a Kebab or merely being microwaved. Little Lucy’s ideas about how to kill her cat are without limitation and she is always finding new ways to get rid of her cat.” Read more at: http://www.streetartbln.com/blog/street-artist-el-bocho/#more-52

Country Mouse in the City

So I thought I would write a post about the city that I grew up in … but in my research I found a map of the city boundary and found out that I didn't actually grow up in this city. So instead spiralled into a “WHO AM I AND WHAT IS MY LIFE?” journey. However, I will tell you about the teeny tiny city I grew up just outside of (it is officially big enough to be considered a city – but if you tell that to anyone from the big cities of NZ they just laugh at you – not looking at a particular Post-Doctoral Fellow from Auckland who is about to move to Stanford!!!). Invercargill (Maori: Waihōpai), population 53,000 as of 2011, is one of the southernmost cities in the world according to Wikipedia, and I grew up on the outskirts in a suburb called Otatara.

There isn't a whole lot to say about Invercargill really, there is an infamous story from 1965 when the Rolling Stones came to town and played at the Civic Theatre, afterwards (due to an unruly crowd apparently) Keith Richards dubbed Invercargill with the title the ‘asshole of the world’. The only part of this story that I struggle with is that the Rolling Stones actually played in Invercargill!

Though I'm sure this wasn't an affectionate title (apparently the audience pelted the Rolling Stones with tomatoes … *shakes head in shame*) it’s all up for interpretation! For example – you COULD look at it like … the last statistic I read on the topic (thanks to some kind of Durex research project) claimed that only 40% of women try anal sex, which means it is a pleasure only enjoyed by a few, quite like a trip to the asshole of the world! It is not a very common tourist destination, so only a small portion of the population of the world will have had the rare pleasure of taking a trip to butthole-ville [Invercargill]. I’m trying too hard aren’t I?

ANYWAY! The point of this post was actually supposed to be that Berlin is quite different from Invercargill (surprise!). I have catalogued a few of my ‘country mouse in the city’ moments and also just some Kiwi-isms that are difficult to explain to Germans:

how do intercoms/door buzzers work?!?!?

You have to PAY to get into night clubs?!?!

There are SO many dogs in town, I could not be happier about this one – but my dog-envy is growing stronger and stronger!

Trying to explain what you meant when you said “The MIRAX scanner shat itself and I’m not sure why”

My constant use of Arnold Schwarzenegger quotes is sometimes mistaken for me mocking German/Austrian accented English, but really if you have to go into a giant freezer-room how is it not appropriate to say “into ze ice chambaaa” “You're not sending me to the cooler!” and of course “Let’s kick some ice!” but pretty much putting any statement into Arnie’s voice has been a passion of mine for years. Maybe it is mockery? ….

The fact that here it is appropriate to wear a bikini/speedos when you are NOT at a beach .. in NZ that is called wearing underwear in public. (There was even a commercial about it -n.b. togs is kiwi slang for swimming costumes).

In Rehbrücke they turn off the traffic lights after 8pm and on Sundays! Seriously!

Also NOTHING is open on Sundays! That only happens on Christmas day in NZ – and even then SOME places stay open – but I'm starting to think that maybe Germany has it right!

In NZ generally only beer/wine/cider is allowed to be sold in the supermarkets, but in Invercargill specifically no alcohol at all is allowed to be sold in supermarkets. In Germany – not only can you buy hard liquor at the supermarket but they also have the little handbag-sized bottles of vodka and gin etc. next to the checkout where we normally have chocolate bars and candy!

All shops don't have EFTPOS machines!! WHAT? Even stalls at our Farmer’s Markets have EFTPOS machines in NZ! I feel like walking and saying “We can fix this, we have the technology!” I hate carrying cash!

BUT I LOVE LOVE LOVE the public transport, the air-conditioned regional train that I take to get to work and home again on the hot hot hot summer days, how cheap buying food is!! I love the fact that I can buy croissants still warm from the oven with my morning coffee, I love wandering around the city exploring on the weekends, the culture is so rich here! I love the fruit stalls at the Saturday markets, and the Tempelhofer Feld, where there are just people enjoying their free time!

That’s probably enough for now, I have a terrible headache but am trying to keep posting reasonably regularly. Music for this week was Robyn – Body Talk, it was a bit hit and miss for me -but the songs that hit really hit! So I have been thrashing Dancing On My Own, Indestructible, Hang With Me, and Call Your Girlfriend.

Walking tour of Berlin

Yesterday I went on a free walking tour ( http://alternativeberlin.com/subculture-berlin-free-tour ) with one of my new Berlin friends, and it was AWESOME!!! It made me want to get creative, and try out their specialised street-art tour & workshop where you get to have a go at creating a piece of street-art! The main thing I noticed today was how it has changed the way the I see street art, now I am keeping my eyes open for it, trying to spot some of the popular street artists who I now know by name (thanks to the tour), and seeing if I can find any new artists that I really like. Little Lucy was one of my favourites from the tour, you can get Little Lucy singlet tops and hoodies! I WANT!

I am now looking through all the other tours the company offers, there are a few I am interested in :)

A cobble stone set into the sign of a Pharmacy in Kreuzberg, it was apparently hurled there during one of the many May-Day riots.

Street art in Kreuzberg-Friedrichshain

Little Lucy! Love her!

On of J.R.'s pieces in Friedrichshain

This is a close up of one of Blu's big murals in Kreuzberg

Ph.D. trial period complete!

As of next week I will be 3 months into my Ph.D.! That is 1/12th of the way through the 3 years they like to set as the goal finish time! It was a tough week involving some animal experiments on Monday and then an exhausting two days trying to do a solo TECAN run, but I got through it! Despite the fact that I was so shattered on Friday that I actually caught myself googling ‘good things about PhDs’ to remind myself why on Earth I am doing this! Though to be honest it never takes much reminding :) I was just pretty tired, and it had been a bit of a hard week with things getting lost-in-translation, which makes me feel really stupid because my colleagues feel like they've explained it perfectly so are not sure why I am struggling, and the absolute LAST thing I want to do is suggest that their English is the problem, because they speak English SO well, there are just sometimes verb tenses that aren’t used the right way, or something just isn't translating in a way that I understand what they mean. I really really hate feeling stupid, it’s mainly down to my Impostor-Syndrome insecurities, no matter how qualified I become I always expect someone to turn around and say “What makes you think YOU are smart enough to be a Neuroscientist!” or “Who let HER in here??” I hope to get past this one day, but have spoken to tenured Professors who still haven't shaken their Impostor-Syndrome - so I'm not holding my breath!

For the next week and a half I am flying pretty much solo, which will be a nice test to see how competent I am after a quarter of a year in the lab! Also it appears as though my Love will be arriving in Berlin on the 9th of August if there are no troubles with the American embassy in NZ (fingers crossed). We should know for sure by the end of next week :) I am struggling to keep my excitement under wraps :)

I have my meeting at the Berlin Foreigner’s Office on Monday to officially apply for my Residency Permit! I will be glad when it is all sorted!! Then it is just University Registration to get through and hopefully then all the paperwork with be DONE!

I finished reading the Year of the Flood by Margaret Atwood this week, I really really enjoyed it, more so than Oryx and Crake I think, probably because I related to the females a bit more easily than I did with the Snowman, who looking back after having read Year of the Flood seems pretty pathetic and whiney compared to the females in the Year of the Flood.

IT IS SO HOT. I am mainly living off ice-blocks, I am not built for anything above 30 degrees celsius!

Song for the day: Wye Oak - If Children Were Wishes, my favourite from the If Children album, quite haunting and beautiful.

Friiidayyyyy!

Mouse lollies!!!

It has been a loooooong work week, playing with lab-mice on Monday and doing a bunch of slide processing for the rest of the week! It is Friday nowwww! Just gotta make it until 5! Just get through the damn day!! Saw these lab-mouse lollies and chuckled!

Germany - first snapshots

Some “WOAH” moments in Germany, where you wonder if these are inappropriate to Germans as well. Sexual abuse on postcards, toys for children which are named after boners, porn in museums, some man-on-sheep  worship, and statues showing testicles (I will be mature enough to appreciate testicles on display as art one day .. but it is not this day!. 

Casual nudity in the DDR museum part 1

Casual nudity in the DDR museum part 2

I don't know why I liked this statue so much at Sans Souci - Potsdam

Billboards tackling erectile dysfunction (www. come later .de)

This postcard is called 'The Cold Finger'

Learning more and more about East Berlin at the DDR museum

Things I never thought I would be learning!

This was posted in the toilet cubicles at my work ...

Another classic Sans Souci statue